What's this?

I quit my job as a barista a week ago. Well, it'll be a week ago tomorrow afternoon.

My symptoms, all of them (pain, fatigue, nausea, headaches, etc.) just keep getting worse and more unpredictable. If I knew when they would strike I'd at least be a little less anxious, but they hit whenever they feel like it.

Of course, this has to happen right around the time I find out I've lost my insurance through work. By 2.75 hours, because my manager was a dickhead. He knows I was struggling to meet my hours and still screwed me over. Cue panic attacks.

And then last week I saw a new endocrinologist. She's stymied as to why my last endo thought it would be a good idea to leave a small nodule (a malignant nodule, even!) in my neck. So I need to see if a surgeon thinks that's viable, and of course can't do jack-shit about it until I have insurance again. Also can't see any specialists until I have insurance again.

I'm also trying to find a new job but I'm hitting the wall. A clerical job seems like a good idea at first, mostly because I'd likely be off my feet for most of the time, but I can't multi-task. Some days I can barely speak the English language. I have trouble concentrating and even walking straight sometimes.

My only hope there is checking out vocational rehab in my area, and seeing if they can point me in the right direction. From there it might be on to filing for disability. Who knows at this point?

Dear Cymbalta ...

I know my doctor warned me about missing a dose, but do you have to be this brutal?

I was up nearly all night with horrible, frightening, disjointed dreams. And I already have weird dreams to begin with, so was this really necessary?

And then the stomach issues. Really didn't feel like spending most of my afternoon/evening in the bathroom.

Hang your head in shame, Ang Lee

2003's Hulk got totally schooled by this year's The Incredible Hulk. And this is coming from someone who's never liked the Hulk character.

Also, I confess that, as a child, I was scared to death of Lou Ferrigno in the green makeup. I went so far as to refuse to watch the episode of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood where Mr. Rogers visited the set of the Incredible Hulk TV show, and the viewer got to see Lou getting painted up.

So. With the first Hulk movie, I went in with very low expectations. Remember, I didn't much care for the character, but I like comics and action movies, so I gave it a go. I didn't believe it was possible for a movie I had such low expectations for to go below those expectations. It was like watching something floundering in a tar pit millions of years ago, every twitch and panicked movement causing it to sink deeper and deeper.

Imagine my surprise when just the previews for the new Hulk movie had me excited. Not just interested, but damned pumped to see it (no, has nothing at all to do with a tiny cameo by Tony Stark *cough*), and that was unusual.

The movie made me start to like Ed Norton, who has always bothered me for some reason. He's an excellent actor, no doubt, but something just bugged me. He pulled off the angst and the frustration and characterization perfectly.

Liv Tyler managed not to fuck this one up (still angry about LotR), and she played a good Betty Ross.

The bad guy was suitably creepy, and watching what happened to him after just a small dose of what Bruce Banner got was really amazing. He really was a super soldier.

And as much as I really don't care for the Avengers (never liked Cap), I'm excited about what's in the future.

Marvel gets a thumbs-up for this one. If Wolverine can be as good as Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, I'll be a happy fangirl.

Intentions

When I first set up this blog, I was all gung-ho to do research and write cool articles.

Dude, that's why I'm not in school anymore. And why on earth would and extreme introvert want tons of traffic and conversations? I really don't want to put myself in that spotlight.

Indiana Jones disappointment

Urban Dictionary has a great definition for why Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sucked so badly.

Well, y'know, that and the frackin' aliens.